Candle of Constructive Criticism

Because nothing says “we value you” like pointing out everything you did wrong this year. Light it up and bask in the warm glow of vague feedback, empty promises of growth, and the lingering aroma of “maybe next year.”

1. 100% Natural Soy Wax – softer than your boss’s compliments
2. 50–60 Hour Burn Time – about as long as your motivation lasts after review day
3. Lead & Zinc-Free Cotton Wicks – burns cleaner than your supervisor’s feedback
4. Hand-Poured in the USA – unlike your raise, which was outsourced to “budget cuts”